It took me five years to fulfill my dad’s last request: to spread his ashes into the ocean off Kauai.
Robert Michael Zajonc, aka “Bobby Z”, was more than just a Hollywood helicopter stunt pilot, Vietnam veteran, and Ironman athlete – he was a legend. (He is on the far left in the photo above on the set of “Tropic Thunder.”) I’ve been prompted for years to write a book about him and maybe even make a film. Until then, this email is a small way of sharing a glimpse of who he was and some of what I learned from him.
One rainy night in Sonoma County, CA, sitting by a way-too-hot living room fire, my dad casually mentioned, “Put me in the ocean in Kauai after I die.” “You got it, Dad,” I replied. He passed away a couple of years later in 2018. I was devastated and held onto his ashes until a few weeks ago.
This past summer, we flew to Kauai with a small group of family where I finally kept my promise. I spread his ashes in the beautiful clear waters off the North coast of Kauai and I literally felt him hug me for the last time.
The next day, while boarding for a helicopter tour, the pilot read the list of passengers. “Zajonc”, he said to me in the cockpit with the smell of jet fuel all around us. “Are you by chance related to Bobby Zajonc?” When I nodded yes, the pilot responded, “Are you kidding? Your dad was a f*cking legend. Flying you today will be an absolute honor.”
That flight was filled with so much emotion, creating an experience I’ll never forget. While flying towards Jurassic Falls, where he filmed for Jurassic Park, I knew it was my last flight with my dad. Sharing this experience with my family is something I will always cherish.
Honoring my dad’s last wish reminded me of the importance of keeping promises, integrity, and cherishing every moment. The trip literally refocused my perspective on life.
Was my dad flawed? Absolutely. He was married five times (six depending on who you ask), drank too much, and struggled to show his love to those closest to him. He was John Wayne in a helicopter, but I choose to draw and learn from his wisdom, courage, and thoughtfulness.
He always said, “Do your best,” and taught me the importance of encouraging others. Most of all, I learned the true meaning of generosity, resilience (he crashed twice by the way), and going after what you want in life.
It’s all made me ask…Am I doing my best? Truthfully, not yet. However…I’m certainly going to try.
What does that look like? Maybe not ice baths every morning or counting macros while getting red light exposure 😅, but it certainly means setting meaningful goals and intentions for the rest of this year.
I’m asking myself:
- What do I really want for my business and career overall?
- What kind of husband, dad, friend, and coach do I want to be?
- How can I battle back from injury and return stronger?
- How can I strive for more and be grateful at the same time?
I certainly don’t have the answers yet, though it feels good to ask the questions and I know worth it.
Here’s to you, Dad. I promise to appreciate what I have, to help others when I can, and to do my best. (God knows, I haven’t done that all the time 🙂) And here’s to you, friends. I say 2024 is just beginning. How about you?
P.S. Here’s a big hug to all of you who’ve lost your parents along the way. May they rest in peace.